Archive for the ‘Social Stimulus’ Category

Triumph Of The 12th Man

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

The Seattle Seahawks beat the Denver Broncos yesterday 43-8 to win Super Bowl XLVIII (48).  Both the San Francisco 49ers and the Denver Broncos had better odds to win the Super Bowl at the beginning of the 2013-2014 season than the Seahawks, but that didn’t stop Seattle from beating both teams on their way to claim their first franchise Super Bowl trophy as one of the youngest teams in the NFL both age and experience-wise – quarterback Russell Wilson has only been playing in the NFL since the 2012 season, and the average age of the players on the team is 26.5.

Since McCrevis’ Eagles won the NFC East but then lost to the Saints in the playoffs, and since my Buccaneers were never even in the running, we didn’t really have an iron in the fire but were happy to see the Seahawks beat the Broncos (actually, I have no idea if McCrevis was barracking for Denver or Seattle, but since Seattle won, I’m going to say he was on their team all along).  But for our mate Ty, it was a dream come true.

Ty - rabid Seattle Seahawks fan and proud 12th man

Being the only NFL team in the Pacific Northwest US, the Seahawks tend to attract a number of zealous fans, and Ty is no exception.  A proud 12th man since the team was formed in 1976, Ty approached us about a “publicly noticeable celebration idea” that we could help him setup at work “after the Hawks smash the Broncos!”

Despite the short notice, we thought we were up to the challenge.

Ty's office building prior to the Superbowl





Ideas are cheap, it’s the passion to make ideas real that’s rare.
~ Scott Berkun

Why not us?
~ Russell Wilson 

The Grammys? Byrd Was Right

Monday, January 27th, 2014

“You can call me Queen B for being so right!” Byrd texts me last night, referring to her prediction in 2013 regarding Lorde’s upcoming greatness.  “Royals” by Lorde took the award for Song of the Year (Byrd: WHO WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT THAT SONG?!  Though I wouldn’t have predicted Song of the Year) and Best Pop Solo Performance at last night’s Grammy Awards, beating musical industry big names Pink, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, and Justin Timberlake.  Who’s a Royal now?

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Same Love” meanwhile, may have lost to Lorde in the Song of the Year category, but that didn’t stop the duo from claiming the awards for Best New Artist (Byrd: Surprising win over Ed Sheeran), Rap Performance, Rap Song, and Rap Album (Byrd: Of course The Heist!  Why do you ever doubt?!) over R&B cornerstone nominees Drake, Jay Z, and Kanye West.  After the success of 2013, I’m looking forward to what 2014 brings for this duo.

With Daft Punk winning Pop/Duo Group Performance, Record of the Year, and Album of the Year, the top awards for the Grammys this year went to foreign or independently produced performers!  As we previously stated here at bighairmonkey, we believe we’ll be seeing more of this trend as the internet allows influences outside the US to be more readily recognizable and makes the world a much smaller place.

Regardless, props to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis who were quick to point out the groundswell from their fans and the duo’s independent work which led to their radio/public “discovery”:

First and foremost, I wanna’ thank our fans, the people that got us on this stage.  Before there was any media, before there was any buzz about us, before there was a story, there was our fans, and it spread organically through them, so without them, there would be no “us”.  Shout out to everybody repping worldwide …and I wanna’ say, we made this album without a record label.  We made it independently, and we appreciate all the support!

That was to you, Byrd.


Weighted Companion Cube Christmas Lights Released!

Friday, December 13th, 2013

Valve software weighted companion cube

For those of you who emailed us, asking how you could purchase our Portal Companion Cube Christmas Tree lights, they are now available via the Valve Software online store!! (SO awesome, right??!)

1.5" portal weighted companion cube of clear plastic

After some minor changes to our original 3D printed model, these plastic lights are cast to be lighter-weight and cheaper to mass produce for retail sale.  And even as I type, they are on sale at a 20% discount for the upcoming Christmas holiday!  You still have time to have them delivered (in the US) prior to Christmas!

Portal weighted companion cube Christmas tree lights – for those Christmases when you want to remind yourself of that time you escaped the Aperture Science Enrichment Center after it was taken over by a narcissistic and passive-aggressive Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System that tried to kill you give you cake.

I don’t see there really being a big enough market for this particular product to justify mass production, but it was totally cool to build and print and watch it come together!

We’re Awesome!

Monday, December 9th, 2013


Haters ignored.
Testing completed.
Requirements fulfilled.
Obstacles, doubts, and ridicule overcome.
Product shipped.
Customer happy!
We’re awesome!!

Spur-of-the-moment-type message outside the CEO’s window, and since I didn’t have my usual lawn sharpies, I had to spell it out in the frost on the lawn.

Not as long lasting, but it still makes the point, and opens up all sorts of possibilities for messages that you don’t want sticking around for more than a day or so.

Amazed me how many people took note and knew it was our team.
Some reputations are worth having!

It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to management than the creation of a new system.  For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institution and merely lukewarm defenders in those who gain by the new ones.
~ Niccolò Machiavelli

Strike The Tent

Sunday, November 3rd, 2013

Haunted House sign

Dumping rain when we built the house.
60mph winds when we went to take it down.
Not a drop of rain or weather problem while the house was open other than a couple of near-freezing nights.

With all the rain we got when we put up the façade (and in previous years), we built some roof panels and placed them throughout the maze for protection from the elements for both our customers and our volunteers.  They doubled as structural support, adding strength and tying walls together in areas where we couldn’t use the anchors.  It’s always nice to be prepared for emergencies that don’t occur (rather than the opposite), but yesterday when we went to take it all down, a windstorm blew in – once the roof panels were off, the rest of maze was ready to take flight!  Luckily, the crew was able to work quickly and get it all down and packed away with minimal damage.

building a roof

roof panels

Maze runners our first year were zombies, rednecks, and ghouls – your basic group of scaries.  We only had ONE guy that could even be remotely compared to a clown, but found from customers that he was the one that freaked them out the most.

The next year, we built The Freak Show into the maze, locking customers into a strobe-lit shipping container with volunteers dressed in black body suits who would throw back their hoods to suddenly “appear” in front of customers and chase them around the dark confines.  Panicked as they were, it was nothing compared to the hysteria that kicked in when we introduced a few clowns into the mix.  Again, feedback from customers ranked this as one of our scariest “exhibits”.

And last year, we had clowns above the maze, throwing things down on people and chasing/taunting them throughout the maze.

But not until this year did we really build the maze around the circus theme.

Big Top Daytime view Big Top Nighttime

The Big Top is the final room in the maze before customers exit, so it’s also the first thing they see when they walk in to buy their tickets.  The sight of that circus Big Top, rising above the maze with the screaming laughter of clowns and chainsaws coming from within, was enough to make many a customer pause at the façade, debating whether or not they really wanted to come inside.

pole Dancing setting up the Big Top under the Big Top

Instead of lions or tigers or bears (“Oh my!”), clowns caged within two circus animal cars “greet” customers as they make their way into the Big Top.  Within seconds, the clowns fire up their chainsaws and “break out”, chasing customers out the exit.

maze runners

maze runners

We dressed all our maze runners as clowns this year, with full access to the thruways to get in front of and around crowds in the maze, and popping their heads through the various wall openings and doorways, so by the time you got to the final Big Top room, you knew there would be chainsaws somewhere nearby.  One of our clowns carried a simple bike horn which turned out to be one of the scariest sound effects in the maze.  He didn’t even run through the maze – just walked slowly around corners, occasionally sounding his bike horn and sending groups into running panic.

drop panel drop panel

drop panel drop panel

We created a number of “drop panels” throughout the house – openings in walls and panels that could be covered by lifting a sliding panel into place, only to drop it with a loud “BANG!”, exposing whatever was hiding behind it.  Lots of fun and very effective!

grim reaper camoflague clown camouflage clown

We continued last year’s idea of full head-to-toe costumes for some characters so customers didn’t know if they were real or not, mixing them among props that weren’t people.  Our grim reaper caught lots of people by surprise.

three heads

dead head

Three heads on a table, and one of them is real.  This only worked so well because the fake heads were REALLY high quality and lifelike.  I don’t believe the scare on this one would have been as effective if the other heads didn’t look so real.

packing up the haunted house

Overall, the house had a great “feel” to it this year, and I was really happy with the maze – lots of switchbacks creating blind corners and very few long views or open spaces.  Dressing our maze runners as clowns and building around the circus theme did a great job of freaking people out!  It seems a LOT of people don’t like clowns… who knew.  The train turned out as good as I had hoped and scared so many people (thank you Zookeeper!)!  I’d really like to figure out the webcam so we can catch photos of people when they’re scared that they can link to on social media or pass on to friends via the internet.  The plastic clad panels worked out much better than expected, so we will probably use that idea again.  We’ll have to see how well they store.  145 total panels for the maze this year: 33 of them clad in plastic and 10 completely rebuilt with the heavier ply since we still need some structural strength and support throughout.  That means we lost over 50 panels from last year to rot and deterioration.  Part of that is that we need to figure out a better way to store them, but from the start, we didn’t really build them to last, so the fact that we still have so many originals is surprising.  Final customer count surpassed every previous year, so we must be doing something right!

fluorescent walls skeleton cemetery zombie graveyard zombies

ghouls ghoul dance party witches clown Car

scared waiting Capt America greeters

American Beauty clowning around zombies scared

kid friendly night kid friendly night

Glad it’s over for another year.
I need some sleep…

Your idea is your currency; what you’re buying is a few seconds of the [customer's] time, in which you must gain their trust, entertain or inform them, convince them of your message, and possibly get them to act on it.  But it also has to be currency for the user; it has to be funny, informative, or somehow valuable for them to pass on to someone else.
~ Matt Mason


Ghost Train

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

The idea is to shepherd customers down a dark, narrow hallway and into one of the shipping containers as if it were a tunnel, similar to the spider’s lair that we built last year.  However, once customers get half way through the tunnel, they’ll hit a chainlink fence that keeps them from going any further.  And then, out of the darkness, a train will suddenly appear, flashing its lights and blasting its horn, threatening to run them over, and (hopefully) scaring them back out the entrance.

revised Switchbacks train Path

One of our volunteers is planted at the back of each group to open and close doors for us as the groups pass through the maze.  This changes the paths and creates dead-ends if the group tries to back track to escape one of the maze runners.  Once a group enters the train tunnel, the plant swings a wall panel 180 degrees to block off the original hallway and open the next route along the maze for the customers as they “flee” the ghost train tunnel.

That’s the theory at least.

ghost Train Base

ghost train Finished

The train is basically a 2×3 platform on caster wheels, built to house an airhorn and foglights to mimic a train.  A crossbar at eye level holds the foglights, while a wooden box, mounted to the platform, holds the airhorn and car battery to power it all.  A small track, built from 1×2’s keeps the train moving straight towards the fence and the terrified customers.

ghost Train Lights Button

ghost Train Battery Horns

We originally planned on using two truck foglights, mounted about 4’ apart on the crossbar, for our train headlights, but found that normal car headlights, with the high beams hard wired, are cheaper and work just as well.  The train airhorn is a WOLO Xtreme Airhorn (Model 400 Airmite).  We researched YouTube videos of airhorns, and the WOLO is the cheapest model that still delivers a good punch!  We saw a couple of videos and reviews that said that the standard air compressor that came with it wasn’t loud enough, and suggested upgrading to a bigger air compressor.  So, we attached the horns to our shop air compressor, set at 220psi, and then compared that to the sound volume using the included air compressor.  The difference between them isn’t in volume but in pitch – the shop compressor delivers a deeper tone, but the volume is the same.  Since the standard WOLO air compressor that came with the horn is built to run off a car battery and seemed to work fine, especially in the narrow confines of the shipping container, we decided to keep it.

ghost Train Schematic

My mate The Zookeeper, an electrical engineer visiting from our company’s R&D Lab, wired up the whole ensemble for us, so it runs off a standard car battery, operated by a push button mounted on the handles of the train.

I would classify this as another one of our 100% kill rate attractions, similar to last year’s four statues.  While there are the occasional people who are not even fazed when the train suddenly appears, they’re rare – there’s always one group member that panics, but more often, it’s the majority of the group.  Reactions have ranged from “deer-in-headlights” to “running in panicked fear” to one group of teenagers who collapsed in a pile on the floor!  Mothers suddenly use their smaller children as shields, and teenagers are more than happy to sacrifice friends or younger siblings to get out alive!  It’s fun for the whole family.

The Zookeeper linked a webcam to a laptop running a Linux program that snaps photos when the majority of an in-camera background suddenly changes (ie: the darkened walls are suddenly lit by high-beams), so we could snap photos of victims as they reacted to the appearance of the train.  This gave us all sorts of great joy in the expectations of the resulting photographs, but due to funding, we weren’t able to come up with a laptop we could use during the actual haunted house (our proof of concept laptop wasn’t available for use in the haunted house *frowns*).  The good news is, we know it works, so we can plan for next time.  The bad news is, we’ve missed out not only on a ton of great reactions but also on an opportunity to gain more internet notice.  Now that the train is a known item, the surprise if we use it next year, won’t be as great.  But again, if we take photos, many people would come through just to pose when the camera goes off for their internet photo.

Air horn, car battery, headlights, switch and wires – we were able to build our train for about $100.

That’s A Lot Of Sheep To Deal With!

Monday, October 7th, 2013

After this project, we’ve basically covered the possibilities with sheep for McCrevis’ birthday (other than stuffing his office with live ones which was the original idea that kicked all this off).

Phil’s still working at the high security office which, although not as high-security as he’d like, is still secure enough that I’m not allowed to “make a scene” once I get access, and that’s just not right when celebrating McCrevis’ birthday!

You know the saying: Go big or go home!
So we decided to go big.

Phil drives a pretty big SUV to haul his 27 kids around to their various soccer games and full-contact macramé matches on weekends, so converting his truck into a sheep would result in a pretty big sheep!  And while the idea of making a massive sheep in his parking lot is pretty awesome, I’m still pretty budget limited when it comes to these projects, so I want to build it as cheaply as possible.  The second problem is transporting something that big from the build site to Phil’s office – an 8×17’ box, 7’ high is a bit unwieldy to move around as any SUV or minivan driver can tell you.  So I designed the sheep to be built of panels, similar to the Haunted House.  16 panels, no more than 3’6” wide so I can stack them all in the back of my truck and then assemble them on site.

lumberUnfortunately, I can’t use chicken wire to reinforce it all since I don’t want the metal scratching up against Phil’s truck, so I really have to find some massive pieces of cardboard that will fit the frames with minimal interior gaps or creases that cause structural problems.  I’m basically relying on the cardboard to give the panels stability.  In the end, I drop $40 for lumber – a stack of 1×2’s and a couple of 2×2’s for corner reinforcements.  And while I can usually snag a server box or two from the work recycle bin, we don’t have THAT many new server racks coming in, so I hit the local recycle plant and spend half an hour digging through their cardboard bins, locating massive pieces of cardboard.  Luckily, there are a LOT of big screen TVs being bought recently.

While the weekend weather was beautiful, Sunday evening clouds up and starts dumping rain again which not only limits my build space, but also gets me worried about Monday’s weather.  Check the forecast… yep… rain all day Monday.  Great…  That means we HAVE to paint the thing just to keep the cardboard from deteriorating.

I hate painting.



I dial the staple gun WAY down, but even then, a moderate wind will pull wet cardboard through the staple like soggy bread, so I’m off to Home Depot where I find plastic cap roofing nails.  These work beautifully!  Thinking of buying a couple boxes for repairs on the Haunted House panels since they’re MUCH cheaper than the screws and washers we’ve been using on panels we’re not skinning in plastic.



Because I’m using 1×2’s, screws split the wood on a pretty regular basis, so I quickly abandon them for good old fashioned 1 5/8”nails so I don’t have to pre-drill everything.  This means that they won’t hold together as well in wet weather, but again, I’m relying on the cardboard to do that, and I’m not really expecting the sheep to last more than a day.  Takes me about 2 hours to measure, cut and assemble the 16 panel frames once I finally figure out the nails vs screws issue, and another 3 hours to find, cut and fit the proper piece of cardboard to the panels and nail them in place.  If I’d had a couple of friends helping out and enough tools for everyone, this could probably have all been done in an hour and a bit.

Note: not only is a box cutter essential for this much cardboard work, but the replacement blades are about $4 for a pack of 5, so don’t scrimp (even I don’t go THAT cheap)!  Replace your blades often and burn through them rather than all the troubles that arise with dull blades.  Don’t even get me started on trying to use scissors…

Now we’re down to painting.
I hate painting, so I call up Wren from one of the theatre paint crews, and she says she’ll take care of it.


Turns out, the key here is rollers – not paint brushes.  Paint brushing a 3×6’ panel takes a while.  Rollering it takes seconds, and since the paint isn’t as thick, it dries quicker.  This is a benefit since I’m running out of indoor room to paint 16 panels, and it’s still raining outside.

I cut out the head from a single box, cutting out extraneous cardboard to make it as light weight as possible.  I’ll fix it to the neck by sandwiching the cardboard at the back of the head between the neck panel frame and 1×2 slats inside the box.


Monday it dumps rain as predicted, and I’m worried about the whole thing falling apart before it gets put together.  The rain lessens, but never lets up, and at one point, the wind kicks up just for giggles.  To make matters worse, McCrevis is pretty sure I’m going to paint his truck bright pink (great idea for another time!), so he wedges it between a Prius and a PT Cruiser and climbs out the back doors to minimize side clearance.

I can’t lay the panels down on the wet parking lot, so I’m forced to build it, panel by panel, standing up against an air conditioning unit in the parking lot.  I’m wearing a bright yellow “Phil McCrevis Fanclub” t-shirt with a photo of Phil’s face on the front with the words “My Hero”, but still, no one stops to question what I’m doing, even when I slide a 7’ high 17’ wall across the parking lot, to thread it between parked cars and lean it up against Phil’s SUV.

I wave at the security cameras just in case someone’s watching.

As is pretty typical for these things, I start to realize issues that I never considered in the original design:

-         Most people, McCrevis included, park their cars with the front bumper hanging over sidewalk, so I don’t have a flat surface along the entire length of the box, and less support than expected

-         The box was designed to close off nicely from the inside, but that doesn’t explain how I’m supposed to get OUT of the box after it’s closed, so I end up sinking a couple 3” screws through the outside corners rather than the original design where everything is hidden

-         The neck works as a really good lever as the wind starts to pick up, threatening to rip itself off from the rest of the box, so I have to place it on the ground instead of raising it up as planned.  Doesn’t look as good as the design, but much more stable

-         3 of the 5 side panels are suspended a foot above the ground, leaving all the support to the end panels.  Cool design, but less stability.  Should’ve brought lateral bracing like we use in the long hallways of the Haunted House – would’ve worked wonders

-         Next time, bring help.  At one point, I almost break down and call McCrevis to come down and help me build this thing when a gust of wind comes along, and the wall almost takes out the Prius parked on his right!  Almost.




It’s cold, wet and miserable work, but finally, the sheep is completed and stands above the other cars in the parking lot, swaying and rocking in the wind.  I’m sure it’s going to blow apart at any moment and take out the nearby cars, but it holds fast, and draws plenty of attention as I drive away.


I thought I could have built it better, but it did the job:  McCrevis never saw it coming; it made him laugh; it caused a stir and hubalub at his work; and by the time we came back from lunch, the Prius and Cruiser owners had moved their cars away from the dancing lamb (not really a purpose of the project, but a funny result).


What would have really made the day was if McCrevis had given in to my suggestions to get in and drive the sheep around the parking lot.  THAT would have been funny!


Just because something’s never been done before, doesn’t mean it can’t be done. There’s always got to be a first time.
~ Robert Lonnie (“Spirits in the Wires”)

Perfect Weather

Saturday, October 5th, 2013

Compared to last week, today’s build weather was absolutely beautiful!  (Even if I wasn’t comparing it to last week’s miserable onslaught, today’s weather was gorgeous)  Bright sunshine burned off the early morning fog and made for a warm, clear day.

Unfortunately, no amount of short term weather is going to undo the damage that 3 years of rain and humidity has done to most of our maze panels.  We’ve been replacing the plywood “skins” on 10-16 panels each year, and although the weather durable ply we used last year has held up well, this year, the remainder of the panels caught up with us – practically a third of the panels needed to be reskinned.


So we’re trying something different.  Some panels are used structurally, to provide sheer and lateral support to long walls or corners, but many of the panels are merely there to deter customers from heading in the wrong direction.  For these interior panels which need reskinning, we’re using thick, black, plastic.

First, we reinforce the corners to ensure we keep the lateral stability that the plywood has been providing.  Believe it or not, 2×3’s connected perpendicularly using 3” screws will eventually lose their rigidity and look more like parallelograms than rectangles after a year or two in the rain, even with the two interior cross braces.  So without the ply, additional support is needed in at least two of the four corners.

We’re using Husky 6mil black plastic sheeting in 10’x100’ rolls.  We can skin approximately 22 panels with a single roll which costs about $3/panel instead of the $14/panel when using ¼” ply.  We sandwich the plastic between the frame and a 2” strip of ply and tack them in place with a nail gun to create a greater grip and to keep the nails from ripping through the plastic.  Start at one side, then pull the plastic tight as you go and affix the opposite sides.  The locking strips have played havoc with our c-channels that we use to attach panels to one another, and the whole process is more labor intensive, but we don’t have to paint them, and they’re much more water resistant and lighter weight.  Additional cons of this method is that if someone gets rowdy, or the plastic gets a puncture or small tear, the whole panel is at risk.

Laying out the maze takes some time.  We start with the general ideas we want, and then trace possible routes on a map before finally deciding on a layout and placing the panels and doors.  This year, we really wanted to get people going clockwise around it (since they’ve always gone counter-clockwise in the previous years and end up on that long walk past the cemetery), but due to our fixed entry point and ending exit, it was proving too difficult, using too many panels or creating some really complex/expensive builds.

So now, we’ve got customers headed “kind of” clockwise.  We kick them out into the maze, and they immediately head left instead of to the right.  We’ve decided to opt out on the werewolf forest this year – fewer volunteers, but we’d also like to give it a rest and bring it back at a future date so it has more “oomph!”

We’ve got two interior maze areas with one-way doors that change a return path and add to the confusion, and we broke up the LONG narrow hallways with shorter narrow ones, so we don’t run into the wobbly build we had the last two years.  It also breaks up long sight areas, keeping the claustrophobic feel to the place, and creates more corners and twists for ambush.  I was really bummed at how many people ran past the zombies vs cowboys scene we had at the end of the zombie cemetery, so this year, our design forces them head-on to the cemetery twice, and also has switchbacks to bring them face-first to the building at the end and to slow down their hasty exit.

While corners provide the majority of the stability for the maze, we’re using the lateral wall supports and anchor blocks that we discovered/invented last year for stretches of wall that have more than three interior panels.  The stability we get from so simple a design continues to amaze me – it works really well!

I’m REALLY excited about this year’s build!  Can’t wait to try out some of the interior surprises and designs that we’ve got planned, and I’m hoping that we have enough time in our build to actually put them in to play!  Woke up at 3:30 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep, thinking about the build today.

Nice that the weather didn’t disappoint.

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perfect Storm

Tuesday, October 1st, 2013

We chose what turned out to be the wettest September day since 1978 to build the front façade for the Haunted House.
We’ve always liked a challenge…

As the late morning pushed into the afternoon, the weather gave no sign of letting up.  But since we’ve gotten used to haunted houses in wet weather, we pushed on.


It was nice to have a large crew that consisted of regulars who have helped in the build over the years.  We’re getting really good at putting this thing up quickly.  A big benefit since I was soaked to the bone within the first half hour of the build despite my magical yellow rain slicker.

Walls and roofs will affect how the maze “floor” reacts to rain, but we got a pretty good idea of the trouble spots and potential flood areas that may occur in the maze if we get a lot of rainfall this year.  If our build day was any measure of how things are going to be at the end of October, we’re going to need to build some better roofs this year!

Haunted House façade

By lunch, we were done!  Just under two hours to get it all assembled this year – not bad given the driving rain!!  Sunday night, we had a massive thunder and lightning storm with flooding and high winds causing damage all over the area.

Monday morning, the façade was still standing.
No damage.
Roll on Halloween!

‘Cause nothing says, “Get Out! Get Out!!” better than a clown with a chainsaw!

Hospital Ninjas

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

Angels aren’t the only other-world entities that tend to congregate in hospitals.
There are also the Ninjas…
All those damn ninjas…

Being a ninja is obviously a lucrative business.

I once mentioned how dangerous it is to be one of my friends, but I never thought I’d be spending as much time as I do dodging hospital ninjas and convincing night-shift nurses that the phrase “Visiting Hours” doesn’t apply to those that know the difference between “friend” and “acquaintance”.

Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
~ Patch Adams